


pat a cake

by mars (zinthos)



Series: start me up [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance, he's also just hungry can he live?!, sasuke is the best significant other HONEST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:18:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zinthos/pseuds/mars
Summary: Romance is texting your girlfriend and letting her know that cupcakes are still cakes. Sasukehatesthat he knows this form of slang but whatever, anything to uplift his insecure girlfriend's spirits.





	pat a cake

Sasuke is slouched on his small beat up couch on this particularly gray day. He has a small blanket lazily draped over his shoulders, so slouched that his knees touch the edge of the small, super messy coffee table.

He’s been playing video games since he’d been woken up at 9AM by the asshole trashman and his ugly,  _loud_  trash car. Or whatever the fuck it’s called, Sasuke doesn’t care. He’s still  _pissed_.

It’s now nearly 2PM and he hasn’t really moved, eyes glazed over as he stares at the screen and finds millions of ways to avoid advancing with the game’s plot in order to not allow his protagonist to die. Sasuke  _hates_  when his main characters die.

Goddamn RPG games.

So it’s almost 2PM and Sasuke’s supposed to be in a lecture at 2PM. Except Sasuke thinks he deserves to just skip out and laze around his house, considering how rudely he’d been awoken from his sleep. He has a feeling his brother’s going to pay him a visit at some point this week, but whatever, man, he’ll cross that bridge when he gets there. Tch. Itachi and his stupid way of ‘caring’.

He’s mid-yawning when he receives the first text. It’s the standard, single and loud  _ping!_  and Sasuke, teary-eyed from the stinging and the yawning, looks at it as it lies on the couch next to him.

He pauses his game and picks it up, sliding his thumb over the circle-home button to light up the screen and get a preview of who’s disturbing him  _now_.

**Sakura**

Usually, Sakura goes through his cellphone just to change her contact name to more sappy, fluffy, gross names. Sometimes, Sasuke lets her and leaves it as such for long periods of times. Sometimes, she merely adds emoticons that she loves or a simple heart with a kiss emoticon.

When Sasuke’s grown annoyed with her because he’s an emotionally unstable fool, he usually changes it all back to simply just her name.

Like right now. Though, he doesn’t really remember what annoyed him last. Maybe it was just to annoy  _her_.

Anyway, he swipes his thumb, halfheartedly taps his passcode and opens the message.

It’s a picture of herself inside a dressing room.

Sasuke inhales as he arches his back into a stretch, blanket half rolling off his shoulders as he sighs and falls back onto the couch. He drops his PS4’s controller on one lap and properly picks his cellphone up to look at the picture.

She’s in her bra—a lacy, bright blue-green little thing that Sasuke is very acquainted with—and a pair of high waisted jeans so washed out, he’d figure they were white if not for the faint traces of pale blue. Her back’s to him, head tilted to look over her shoulder at the mirror and the picture, expression almost a pout, short hair in little pompom pigtails.

**Sakura:**   _My ass is so little lmao ;3;_

At this, Sasuke stops looking at her white-socked feet, her toned back and the bits of her necklace around her neck and zeroes his attention to her butt.

His girlfriend’s not  _tall_  by any means and she’s not, ah,  _thick_. Not that Sasuke really cares about anything like  _that_. But Sakura’s well proportioned to be small and petite, her ass being no different. Sometimes it looks  _amazing_ , sometimes it looks normal.

Right now?

It looks  _good_.

Small, yeah, but  _good_. 

High waisted jeans do that to a girl’s ass, that’s what Naruto, the fucking pervert, told him. As if he’d asked. He  _had_  turned a bit pink and gotten a bit flustered because the idiot had said it to appreciate Yamanaka’s choice of outfit, at the time, and Sasuke’s instinct followed his idiot best friend’s attention. 

Fucking  _embarrassing_.

Anyway.

Sakura looks  _good_.

What’s the  _problem_?

**Sasuke:**   _cupcakes are still cakes_

The youth and this slang, Sasuke thinks as he feels the tips of his ears grow hot. Once, he hadn’t known what the implication of ‘cakes’ was until Naruto, the fucking idiot, explained. And Sasuke had been so…  _flustered_  and confused. Why can’t they just say ass?

**Sakura:**   _Wow.  
_ **Sakura:** _Inspirational.  
_ **Sakura:** _I love you._

Sasuke can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or not and he squints at the messages, running a hand down his face as he looks at the screen of his paused game. He calls her, holding his phone between his shoulder and ear. 

“You’re supposed to be at a lecture,” she replies and her voice is light.

“I skipped out,” he drawls, “I needed a break.”

Sakura laughs in the other line. “You are the world’s biggest baby, you bum.”

“Am I a bum or a baby?”

“Both.”

“Are you getting the jeans?” he asks, unpausing the game and shifting positions to lie down on the couch. “Get the jeans.”

“I don’t know,” she sighs, “I feel it’s unflattering.”

“I told you it looks good.”

“You did  _not_! You said cupcakes are still cakes! As in, agreeing my ass is tiny!”

“It’s grabbable,” he comments.

“Sasuke!”

“I don’t know what you  _want_  from me!” Sasuke almost laughs because  _fucking really_ , this is  _happening_. “I’m telling you it looks good! Your ass isn’t even that  _small_. It’s  _perfect_.”

“That is  _so_  romantic,” Sakura coos. “I’m emotionally needy and you just. You give it to me.”

“I give it all to you,” Sasuke agrees, half grinning at the double entendre. “So buy the jeans and come to my place. I’m pretty emotionally needy too.”

“Oh? Are you just trying to get laid?”

“… _Sure_ ,” Sasuke says after a long pause. “But I’m also hungry and don’t want to move.”

His reply is the dial tone.

**Author's Note:**

> this was a commission for gyuppii @ tumblr.


End file.
